Creeley Center’s therapist Casper has a tank in her office that holds a lone turtle. During her sessions, Charlie watches the turtle slowly move through its quiet, underwater world. Sometimes, she envies its “peaceful life” (18) and isolation; other times, she recognizes the loneliness of isolation and would not want to be the turtle alone in its tank.

Charlie’s complex feelings about the turtle reflect her complex feelings about engaging with the world. On the one hand, she feels “lonely in the world” (27), as if she never fit in. Her friendship with Ellis allowed Charlie to experience acceptance and connection, but it had its complications. The two could be competitive with each other, and Ellis struggled with her own issues, including disordered eating. When confronted by her parents with drugs they found, Ellis told them they belonged Charlie, though they actually belonged to Ellis’ boyfriend. This prompted a downward spiral that culminated in Charlie’s homelessness and suicide attempt.

Isolation feels safe to Charlie, and cutting allows her to put up an emotional and physical wall to protect herself. Feeling vulnerable, Charlie pushes Ariel away and struggles to trust Linus, Tanner, and Blue. Developing relationships requires trust, and trust requires vulnerability.