Frankel demonstrates how ingrained cultural expectations shape women’s actions, decisions, and perceptions in the workplace. Behaviors praised in personal and social contexts—like politeness, modesty, and deference—can hinder professional success. She identifies these habits as unconscious mistakes stemming from early socialization, emphasizing that women are not naturally less assertive or strategic but are conditioned to adopt behaviors that can limit their professional advancement. Frankel systematically reveals how societal expectations affect everything from communication styles and self-presentation to decision-making and conflict resolution.

The book analyzes how language and communication patterns, shaped by social conditioning, impact professional authority. In Mistake 90, Frankel highlights how women tend to use proverbial touchy-feely language, using phrases such as “It feels like we should…” (243), or “I might…” (243), rather than making direct recommendations. She connects this pattern to the tendency to raise girls to be agreeable and accommodating, which can undermine credibility in workplace discussions. Similarly, in Mistake 83, she discusses how excessive apologizing—another behavior that early socialization instills—can weaken professional presence. These linguistic tendencies reflect the broader cultural expectation that women should be polite and nonconfrontational, influencing how women assert themselves.

Frankel likewise explores nonverbal communication and physical presence, emphasizing how social conditioning teaches women to take up less space and adopt body language that signals deference rather than confidence.