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The Gift of Therapy

Irvin D. Yalom

The Gift of Therapy: An Open Letter to a New Generation of Therapists and Their Patients

Irvin D. Yalom

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The Gift of Therapy Themes

Therapists’ Personal Development and Self-Awareness

Content Warning: The source text and this guide mention mental health issues, including suicidal ideation and substance use disorders.

Irvin D. Yalom presents personal development and self-awareness as necessary prerequisites to becoming a therapist. He believes that therapists must engage in introspection and analysis to understand themselves, which will then allow them to realize how their behaviors are perceived by others—including their own patients. Yalom emphasizes the essential connection between therapists’ self-awareness and their ability to help their patients, saying that therapists cannot “possibly guide others in an examination of the deep structures of mind and existence without simultaneously examining [themselves]” (259). Further, he says that therapists cannot “ask a patient to focus upon interpersonal relatedness without examining [their] own modes of relating” (259). According to Yalom, a therapist’s awareness of their own perspectives and relational biases is not only essential for them to better connect with their patients, but also to help patients understand and improve their own interpersonal relationships. Yalom normalizes the idea of therapists attending therapy to pursue self-reflection and personal growth. He says that he himself has pursued myriad methods of counseling during his 45 years as a patient, including Freudian psychoanalysis, behavioral therapy, marital therapy, and group therapy, among others.

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