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The Viscount Who Loved Me

Julia Quinn

The Viscount Who Loved Me

Julia Quinn

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The Viscount Who Loved Me Themes

The Effects of Childhood Trauma on Adult Relationships

Content warning: This Themes section of this guide references childhood trauma, the death of parents, and descriptions of anxiety, panic attacks, and night terrors.

Anthony becomes Viscount when he is only 18, and his emotional needs go unmet, which affects how he forms attachments with others in adulthood. In becoming a parental figure to his youngest siblings, Anthony’s emotional needs are invalidated by himself and by the adults around him. It is a passive form of neglect wherein Anthony subconsciously learns his feelings are less important than those around him. The core belief that his father was perfect unintentionally set expectations that were unrealistically high, and engendered feelings of inadequacy when Anthony became a man in his own right. Anthony grows up believing he must stay within the “lines” set by Edmund, because he believes something bad will happen to him if he steps out of bounds. For example, he does not pursue a love match because of how profoundly heartbroken Violet was when Edmund died—love only makes grief worse, and Anthony does not want to cause anyone any unnecessary pain. Anthony avoids love and marriage as a coping mechanism, believing that if he never marries or loves anyone, then fewer people will be hurt by his inevitable untimely death.

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